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This message has been transmitted in a Grade B Subconscious Suggestibility modality cognitohazard. The communications network for Site-23 is non-operational at this time. You will be notified when the network is back in working order. 3/11/2016 GMT — I am in the secure control room with Captain Hughes' credentials and a lot of blood on my lab coat.Staff recalling the entirety of this message are ordered to seek amnestic treatment immediately. I don't remember what the contents of the message I'm supposed to send are. 3/11/2016 GMT — The day will come when this earth will be substituted with a new earth, and also the heavens, and everyone will be brought before GOD, the One, the Supreme. 3/11/2016 GMT — APOLLO62 is experiencing difficulties. Please use whatever backup systems are available to you. An unidentified humanoid, advertising itself as "The World's Best Dantist" [sic].Available sources of information suggest that SCP-001 is alive, occupies a plane of existence either similar or identical to that observable by humanity, displays a form of intelligence organically similar to that of humans or adapted to be such, and possesses an intimate understanding of human psychology.The purpose behind SCP-001's manipulation of local reality is not discernible with current information.A developing listing of altered phenomena with existing SCP designations is attached to this file.The precise nature of SCP-001 itself is unknown at this time.APOLLO62 hosts 001 and will probably be the last to go down in the event of a total collapse.
These measures include: Personnel are to monitor this file continuously for any future directives.
In Comedy, the instances in which it does work are generally a Set Up to have the vase get smashed anyway, just after they were relieved that it wasn't broken.
This is not usually effective, as half the time, Alice will ignore them.
Communication was received from SCP-001 by the Foundation in early 1954, demonstrating that SCP-001 possessed sapience and intelligence that was sufficiently analogous to humans to enable a meaningful transfer of information.
The records of this communication are limited to Level 5 clearance at this time.