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Us cynics may snigger at such ham-fisted marketing, but Plarium are the ones who are really laughing.

Even the most patient players will be tripped up by the fact that you can only ever construct one building and one unit type for your army at a time, so you can’t just queue up a bunch of work, go away, then come back to find your township has blossomed.

The image might depict a Deku-esque sentient tree looming over a brave warrior captioned with ‘If you own a computer you must try this game!

’, or a voluptuous elf with the label ‘95% of Players LOSE CONTROL When They Play This game’, as if it’s so raunchy that you’ll be manically tearing your pants off within seconds of starting to play.

Within an hour and a half of repeating the same cycle, my construction is stagnating badly. ‘Diversifying’ the experience are quests that sounds kind of fun – quash a rebellion, help beleaguered farmers in the surrounding lands – but again these are little more than countdown timers to get more resource boosts.

Every building menu allows you to Boost production, which in turn takes you to a screen with purchasable Booster Packs.

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